Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
