HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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