I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
