Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
