i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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