bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
