What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
foreskin is a definite game changer
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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