I can't watch pbs sober anymore
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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