I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
