I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I am one with the molecules
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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