Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
3pm strippers are depressing
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize