cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
