If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
