your thong is hanging out like whoa
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
