I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
