As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
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WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
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I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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