He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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