i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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