ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
