how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
