Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
