I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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