Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
