grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
