you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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