I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
