You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
bring money and cleavage
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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