She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
