so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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