this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
