He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize