Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
