batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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