Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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