We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
