He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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