I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize