Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
