she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
