I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
