I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
