found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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