You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
