I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
