how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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