Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
