Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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