meet me or not, i'm out of control
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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