I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
