Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
