nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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