He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
