I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
