Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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