i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
