Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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