marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
