dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
a search helicopter?!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
