Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
