i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm passing your future prison.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
