I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
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Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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