my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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