Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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