Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
